Different.

My father's house is probably the most boring place on planet earth, don't get me wrong I love spending time with my dad but he works A LOT. Leaving me at home alone with nothing to do or eat. The only thing to do is watch tv or surf the net. And my father doesn't eat fatty foods. I don't have my license so im stuck like chuck here. The one thing that drives me nuts is the amount of clocks in this house. This move has also put a strain on my friendships. I'll have to put up with this until im done with my sessions with my counseler, then I can take a trip to New York. :DD

Surreal.

Nothing tops the feeling after witnessing your father's tears.

It's surreal.

I had to blink a few times to realize he was crying.

I felt a certain pain,

like agony and guilt mixed together to form this word that has yet to be made.

Reacting was the hardest part.

I didn't know how to.

All I did was hold his hand.

A simple gesture that I hoped spoke for me.

Unbelieveable.

Like adults say everyday, "Growing up is a part of life" and so is making mistakes. If you read my blog then you should already know I got into trouble with the law. I was caught shoplifting at a nearby mall in Claires.(Thank God I'm 17) Well, I now have to go to a "diversion program" for counseling because of it, instead of court. If I pass all the courses then the case wont go on my juvenile record. The course is a total of 3 months -___- Keep in mind I'm leaving for college and I'm hoping I'll be done before I leave. Some of the many questions people ask me: "Why did you do it?" "Who did you do it with?" and "Where were you?" AND the most famous one "Have you learned your lesson?"

Hmmm. We'll one things for sure I can't answer why I did it. There isn't a reason. What do most cleptos answer that with? It's hard to swallow the dumb truth that is "I just wanted it and I didn't want to pay." It's even harder trying to explain it to your parents. The worse part about this is the fact that my parents were disappointed. But they we're rational about it and I thank them for that everyday.

Have I learned my lesson? I don't know. I have these urges when I walk into stores, especially fashion forward ones. But whenever I have the urge to take something I just think back to that moment they handcuffed me, and then I think to myself It's just not worth it.

Time to play catch up.

I feel like I start off with this in all my blog posts. About how I have not posted in FOREVER. It's sad. I usually only come on her when I'm bored, or when I feel creative. But I promise to keep up more often.

Latest News/Obsessions/Epiphanies(More like things I knew, I just didnt accept untill now).
1. I got in trouble with the law recently and now I'm paying for it.
2. I just graduated.
3. I leave for College in 3 months.
4. I fell for Adele, her music speaks to me.
5. I realized that Life is a bitch, she waits for no one, she's short, and shes harsh.
6. I will never be okay with myself.
7. It's hard for me to forget.
8. Strawberry and Pomegranate Lemonade is like crack to me.
9. I failed my driver's test -___-
10. People will ALWAYS let you down, always; even your family will.
11. You come into this world alone and you leave alone; it's sad.
12. Time is flying.
13. I've learned to take one day at a time, it makes things a little easier.

SENIOR YEAR.-well not really more like 1st quarter.

Soooooo. i havent blogged in a longgg time-but! i have perfectly legit reasons why: 1. i've been oober busy with school and i've been juggling essays, projects, homework, softball, GSA, key club and volunteering. 2. i havent felt inspired in a while and 3. My laptop has been broken. But now its up and working and i will keep the post coming when i feel its necessary. Yesterday was my schools homecoming peprally and every year the seniors have an entrance. And i cant lie i wasnt too excited about being a senior but after this peprally it made me realize how spirited i really am. AND the juniors SUCK :) with the exception of a few. but overall they SUCK. It made me realize this is My last year. My last impression. My last chance. So I've made up my mind Im going to Homecoming and im going to try to participate in all senior events.

Oh and that means homecoming week:D i already have it planed out.

P.S JUNIORS SUCK<333

"Hope is the raw material of losers."- Fernando Flores.

I do not know why I do this over and over again. What's silly is that I promised myself I wouldnt. But I do. I waste my precious time on someone who is ungrateful. Someone who is unworthy of my time. A specific someone who does'nt care for me, Now im not saying this because I'm some narcissistic person but because I know I'm better than him and because I know I deserve better. HIM on the other hand deserves crap for being so incompetent. He doesnt even deserve this post. As a matter of fact this post is for me and only me, a form of creative expression. To be completely honest...I'm the fool. I'm the one who kept waiting for you. Waiting for someone I know will never move on. waiting for someone I could never have. WAITING PERIOD. waiting for your texts and waiting for the calls I knew I would never recieve. I hoped for a future between us but then again, hope is the raw material of losers. and i sir, I am not a loser. So I'm done hoping, I'm done waiting, and I'm done wanting you.

The point I'm trying to make: You're an idiot, and I hope you realize what you're missing out on.

Top 25

So I just got back from volunteering for a judo tournement. It was absolutely the most exuasting thing i have ever done. It was 4 days of agony. But it was all worth it, bc i stayed in embassy suites with my frannns:D and we did not sleeppp<3 Partyy all night. PLUS i get community hours for when i graduate:) so its ALL good. I also pierced my nose it didnt hurt at all, only after and when i yanked it out by accident in the shower the next day. I love it sooooo much. im scared it might be infected bc i went in the pool when i wasnt supposed to but whatever, im sure it'll get better. I'm trying to figure out what to write about in this blog so i guess ill do my top 25 fav songs as of now and my all time favs:D

All time-
1. Don't want to miss a thing- Aerosmith
2. It's still rock and roll to me-Billy Joel
3. Drops of jupiter-Train
4. Always be my baby-Mariah Carey
5. Jammin-Bob Marley
6. Bizzare love triangle-New Order
7. Bottle it up- Sara Bareilles
8. Make this go on forever- Snow Patrol
9. Catch me- Pretty Poison
10. Dancing with tears in my eyes- Ke$ha
11. Dance- Justice
12. Follow me down- 3OH!3
13. Flightless bird American mouth- Iron&Wine
14. infinity 2008-Guru Josh Project
15. Just want to be with you- Enrique Iglesias
16. Linger- The Cranberries
17. Rhiannon- Fleetwood Mac
18. Love like this before- Faith Evans (remix)
19. Never going to dance again- George Michael
20. The only exception- Paramore
21. Shark in the water- VV Brown
22. Alive- Black Eyed Peas
23. Purple rain- Prince
24. The saltwater room- Owl City
25. Desert Rose- Sting